Are you sick of going the Thanksgiving dinner and being drilled as to why you're still single? We have the perfect guy for you.

A 28-year-old "felon" posted an ad on Nashville's Craigslist hoping to be someone's potential date for Thanksgiving.

The ad titled, "Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? Read on... - m4w (East Nashville)" leads you to a hilarious attempt to find a place to have a delicious Thanksgiving dinner, be your date and torment your family. The ad reads:

It's Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how youre still single? About how your parents really want more grand children? Well, look no further!

I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.

I can do these things, at your request:
openly hit on other female guests while you act like you dont notice.

start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion.

propose to you in front of everyone.

pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, i dont drink, but i used to. alot. too much in fact. i know the drill).

Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.

I require no pay but the free meal i will receive as a guest!

Be still our beating hearts!

Goodness ladies, this guy is a steal! He has a job, can look younger or older if he shaves or not, and there are no strings attached. Just a good time terrorizing your family.

He'll even get violent if he has to. Maybe your older brother needs to be taught a lesson, or you're just sick of that dirty-old uncle trying to tickle you.

The best part! He's just wants a free meal, no money or sex.

It'll be a Thanksgiving your entire family will remember forever.