Need a Date for Thanksgiving Dinner? Look No Further
Are you sick of going the Thanksgiving dinner and being drilled as to why you're still single? We have the perfect guy for you.
A 28-year-old "felon" posted an ad on Nashville's Craigslist hoping to be someone's potential date for Thanksgiving.
The ad titled, "Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? Read on... - m4w (East Nashville)" leads you to a hilarious attempt to find a place to have a delicious Thanksgiving dinner, be your date and torment your family. The ad reads:
It's Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how youre still single? About how your parents really want more grand children? Well, look no further!
I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.
I can do these things, at your request:
openly hit on other female guests while you act like you dont notice.
start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion.
propose to you in front of everyone.
pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, i dont drink, but i used to. alot. too much in fact. i know the drill).
Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.
I require no pay but the free meal i will receive as a guest!
Be still our beating hearts!
Goodness ladies, this guy is a steal! He has a job, can look younger or older if he shaves or not, and there are no strings attached. Just a good time terrorizing your family.
He'll even get violent if he has to. Maybe your older brother needs to be taught a lesson, or you're just sick of that dirty-old uncle trying to tickle you.
The best part! He's just wants a free meal, no money or sex.
It'll be a Thanksgiving your entire family will remember forever.