Booze Just May Boost Your Immune System and Keep You From Getting Sick

If you are one of those people who wont use hairspray if they tried it out on a rat first, then you might not want to read this, because it may cause you to want to quit drinking, and nobody got time for that! Now that we got that out of the way, I can tell you that by getting a few monkeys drunk and giving them Smallpox, we now believe that booze may help prevent you from getting sick!! 

Some scientists from Oregon Health & Science University took twelve monkeys who have similar immune systems to humans, and gave them a 4 percent ethanol cocktail. Then the mad scientists vaccinated the monkeys against small pox and divided them into two groups: One that had access to the cocktails and one to sugar water. They were even nice enough to give both groups food and regular water.

The study went on for 14 months and without getting too scientific on you, basically the monkeys who drank moderately had the best immune response. The researchers can't yet fully explain the results, but one possible explanation is that modest amounts of alcohol stimulate the immune system.

But before you get too excited and hit the Jack hard, I did mention that it was the monkey's who drank moderately that had the best results. The extra drunk monkey's were the worst off.

Moral of the story... Three little monkey's were jumping on the bed, the sober monkey fell off and bumped his head because he was boring and didn't want to be there in the first place. So, then there were two little monkey's jumping on the bed and the alcoholic one fell off and bumped his head because he couldn't see straight. Then there was only one little monkey jumping on the bed and he never fell off the bed because he drank a little bit of Jager and that sh** is good for you!!

[MOTHER JONES]