What better way to spend a summer weekend than doing a little offshore muff diving in the Chesapeake Bay? Though the marina can be a great place to be lewd, we assure you that there is nothing provocative going on at the White Marlin Marina aboard Muff Diver Sportfishing Charters in downtown Ocean City, Maryland.

According to their website, Muff Diver has been trolling, chunking and jigging for the past three decades, reeling in Marlin, Swordfish, Sea Bass and the occasional Spearfish, along with a wealth of amazing stories that have the potential to dwarf the fabled Moby Dick. Yes, you can now call him Little Dick, if you’d like. Please update your files.

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From Ocean City, MD to Hatteras, NC, Muff Divers offers a number of diverse fishing expeditions that turn fraidy-cat land lubbers into sea-humping overlords. You don’t even need to bring your own fishing reel, as these fellas are more than happy to provide you and your fishing buddies with all the necessary tackle and bait - however, you must furnish your own food and beer – making sure to bring plenty for the Captain, of course.

The average 30-hour adventure begins at the butt crack of 5am, with a 90 minute boat ride out to sea; which incidentally is just enough time to catch a nice early morning beer buzz, before watching dolphin mating rituals and making every effort to get your rod smelling like tuna. Get your mind out of the gutter, boys – we’re still talking about fishing here. We're not sure the rod would smell, but we've also never managed to catch a fish.

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When darkness sets in and everyone is good and drunk, the lines go in the water to begin drifting for Shark and Swordfish. That's when everyone onboard either continues to tie-one-on throughout the night, or passes out honorably, so they can continue at the first sign of morning light. After all, the sooner a man catches his bragging rights trophy, the sooner he can retire his pole and finally bask in the glories of two-fisted drinking.

However, before you and the boys start planning your fishing expedition, you are going to have to start saving your pennies - the average 30-hour trip costs about $650 per person. Plus, though Muff Divers will provide you with all the tools you’ll need to catch a fish big enough to swallow you whole, you still need beer money. We estimate that will cost anywhere between $200-$300 for the weekend, $500 if you have no intention of making it home alive. To find out more about charter packages and rates, click here.

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