The Free Beer and Hot Wings Show’s 2026 Predictions

Hi Idiots.

Today, we continued our annual tradition of predicting the future, but only about weirdly specific things. The show has been on a bit of a hot streak lately, with Steve correctly predicting a major bridge collapse in 2024, and 2025 was full of correct predictions by everyone (though not to that degree), so surely we're ready to grab 2026 by the horns and make it our...nevermind.

The world has changed quite a bit since last year, with many of the things that once seemed far-fetched now happening. Now more than ever (which is shocking to say, considering we had a global pandemic that Kelly correctly predicted in 2020), it feels like anything could happen. These are the things we're banking on.

Hot Wings

• Movies are making a huge comeback this year
• Resurgence in "dumb phones" and beepers
• Taylor Swift will announce a pregnancy.

Free Beer

• T-Shirts capable of showing videos will become available for purchase
• Someone from the show, past or present, intern or full-timer, will be arrested in 2026.
• Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively will announce their divorce.

Maitlynn

• Vape sales will DROP, but cigarette sales will go up.
• An influencer will be elected into a political position and do a good job.
• Someone on the show will unknowingly discover something that turns out to be worth a lot of money.

Steve

• Someone from the show will win the lottery this year (10k minimum).
• An AI song will hit #1 on the Billboard charts.
• Someone from the show will pack up and move to Europe.

Kelly

• Going to finally catch a real mermaid, and it will start a water war.
• Going to finally see the side effects of weight loss drugs, and anyone who didn't have to take the drugs for medical purposes will begin to glow.
• One of the guys on the show will get electrocuted (but in a cool way).

Tommy

• Some part of Mt. Rushmore will be damaged or fall off. Bonus points if it's a nose.
• A World Cup host city will suffer a widespread blackout.
• A wild animal will find its way into our car or our house, making us late for the show.
  • Yes, breakfast will still be owed.

That's all of them for this year! Leave it to Kelly to have the most absurd predictions imaginable. Well, I say that, but if she gets one of them right, she would have bragging rights for eternity.