Saying Goodbye To My Mother

This is one of those moments in your life that you dread. I have feared the death of my parents from the moment I first understood what dying actually meant. Now, I come face-to-face with the reality that my mom is near the end of her life.

As I have shared before, I am  from Missouri. So, my contact with family is long distance by necessity.

A few days ago, I received the phone call no one ever wants to receive. My cousin - also our family doctor - told me that my mother had the worst type of cancer and she only has days to live.

We lost my dad to cancer back in 2011. I held his hand as he died. I'll never forget the feeling when I realized he was gone. It was like getting hit by a lightning bolt. Part of me passed that day, too. My mom and dad enjoyed over 50 years of marriage.

I am an only child, so, the burden of all this rests on me alone. As much as I would like to pretend that I'm Chuck Norris and everything is OK, it's not.

I am at the center of a vortex of emotions and few of them are enjoyable. I spend my days trying to communicate with her and make sure I carry out her wishes when she's gone. At the same time, I try to manage my family in Grand Junction and make sure their needs are not overlooked.

This week has been a life lesson on how to say goodbye to my mother.

I don't know when you listen to the radio if you make the connection that there's a real person with real problems on the other end of what you're hearing.

Most of the time, I shield you from that kind of stuff. On this occasion, I will let you look behind the curtain and see what I rarely reveal. At my core, I am still that little boy who always feared to lose his parents. Now, as a man, I must face it.