5 Things To Do In Grand Junction When You Have Nothing To Do

Grand Junction is such an awesome place partly due to the fact that there are so many darn things to do that everyone knows about. Visiting Colorado National Monument, wineries, scenic drives are all options. But, what happens when you've done all that stuff and you find that you have nothing to do? That's why we're here.

First, a disclaimer: I am known to get into trouble when left with time on my hands. I once got kicked out of my own county fair and I don't drink. This is not easy to do, but I managed it. So, try any of the following at your own peril.

5. Go to the Mesa Mall Food Court and order things that aren't on the menu and be entertained by the creative explanations from the order takers. I have found them to be unbelievably polite even when I'm being completely unreasonable.

4. Ride my bike on the Kokopelli Trail from Fruita to Moab while wearing my "Eat, Drink and Be Merry For One Day You May Live In Utah" t-shirt. This is a real conversation starter the further west you go.

3. Put my Buzz Lightyear doll (don't ask) on a drone and fly him over Fruita while running behind it yelling "To infinity and beyond!" over and over. This has gotten me banned from parades, but daycare facilities love me.

2. Send texts to NWS employees in the Grand Junction office which simply say "Monsoons sux". My storm chasing friend, Reed Timmer, thinks this is hilarious.

1. Stand on the sidewalk on North Avenue and have a pretend conversation with the mannequins holding the rotating signs. I have been told by police that this is distracting drivers in the area. For some reason, it also causes people at the bus stop to board the bus faster.