Name: Terry The Teet

Location: Newcastle, England

Occupation: Canine wet nurse.

Hobbies: Sudoku, erotic lactation.

5 Things She Can’t Live Without: Prenatal vitamins, trips to the pound, a portable pump, lollipops, and religion.

Skills: "Fastest breast in the West!" (We didn't ask her to elaborate.)

Her Motto: “Lunch is in on me!"

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@]