USA Mullet Championships Coming to the Colorado State Fair
This is for the big boys. We're talking about an official qualifying event for the USA Mullet Championships. Times running out, so you'd better start "prepping" now.
USA Mullet Championships Are Serious Business
You have less than a month to prepare. The USA Mullet Championships at the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo are coming up Friday, August 26, 2022.
You must pre-register for this event. According to mulletchamp.com, "Once registration is closed, our judges will reach out to those who are chosen to be part of the event."
What's In It For You
Do you mean besides glory? In addition to being crowned Lord of the Mullet (my term, not theirs) the winners will receive:
- 1st: $500 + Pit Viper Sunglasses
- 2nd: $300
- 3rd: $200
Perhaps most important, the 1st place winner will also earn a spot in the Top 25 Mane Event Championships.
Rules You Need to Know
The rules are fairly simple:
- Contestants must be at least 18 years of age
- No extensions or wigs allowed
Darn it! I'm balding, and right here right now, the longest hair on my head is only about half an inch long. According to Google, the current population of Colorado is 5,685,000 people. With me out of the way, minus you, that leaves only 5,684,998 people you have to beat.
How To Register
The registration process is fairly simple. They want to know your name, age, where you live, and email address. They do wish to know how long you've been wearing your mullet. Be prepared, the application form does ask you to provide the name of your mullet. By "name" I don't believe they're asking you to name your mullet "Fred" or "Suzy." When they ask for your mullet's name, they're looking for "French Crop Mullet" or "Faux Hawk Mullet," or one of the other popular names.
Submit Your Photo
You will be required to submit three photos with your application. You'll need a front view, profile, and rear view. The registration form provides the following example:
We Can Do This, Colorado
I'm not sure why I just said "we." I don't have a mullet. If you do, however, please give this competition serious consideration. I've been following the event for years, and it's awesome, to say the least. The world is getting tenser and tenser every day. Let's lighten up and have some fun.