Remembering the Long Pee-Inducing Wait for the Kmart Bathroom

Back in the not-so-good-ole-days, you could literally experience a ruptured bladder while waiting to get "buzzed in" by the curmudgeonly old lady working the bathrooms at Grand Junction's Kmart. Did you ever experience a close encounter of the wet kind while waiting for the lady to allow you permission to use the bathroom?

Seriously, back in the '70s, you couldn't just walk into the bathrooms at Kmart in Grand Junction. You had to make your way back to the layaway department and then publicly humiliate yourself by explaining to the wrathful watchdog of the latrine you really needed to tinkle.

From this point, you would spend five minutes hopping up and down on one foot while this bitter bathroom protector takes her sweet time getting around to pushing this little buzzer that would open the door.

The reasoning behind this multi-step process is not fully understood, but I'm pretty sure it was an asset protection procedure used to minimize shoplifting.

On the other hand, it was a major hurdle for those in desperate need of the restroom.

Why the five-minute wait?

Typically, once you gained entrance to the pee-pee promised land, it would seem washroom had been empty all along.

Did the overseer of the outhouse make you wait out of spite? The reason may be much simpler than this, maybe Kmart was in hopes you wet yourself so you'd have to purchase some dry clothes.

It's a not-so-precious piece of nostalgia from days gone by, the infamous "Kmart Winky Wait." Thankfully, things have been streamlined, and now we can just walk into the bathroom, and then do our thing on camera.