10 Dumbest, and Therefore Best, Metal Band Names of the Millennium
Metal is wonderfully stupid at times, and once all the good band names such as Black Sabbath and Metal Duck were taken, groups around the world were forced to scramble for something original. Originality doesn't always mean quality, but when it comes to these 10 bands, we're eternally thankful for their wonderfully weird (and gross) names.
Straight out of a metal band name generator, you'll see plenty of goregrind and mathcore on this list, including one act who got legitimately huge despite their inability to fit their name on a T-shirt. This list is most certainly NSFW due to offensive band names and imagery, but we highly encourage you to blast these songs at the office... nobody will understand the lyrics anyway.
Check out the 10 Dumbest, and Therefore Best, Metal Band Names of the Millennium below.
Relentlessly offensive and wildly deviant, Belgium’s Brutal Sphincter yearn to make goregrind great again. Their fascination with butt stuff goes far past the band’s name, having called their second studio album Analhu Akbar.
This Canadian death metal band is a party in black wifebeaters. In their video for the aptly-titled “Married With Children,” Killitorous hired a middle-aged woman to get crazy in the pit of a basement show. Excellent work, gentlemen.
Aborted Hitler Cock
Dear lord, how much further can metal be taken? Hailing from England, this goregrind band made two EPs and one full-length album, the latter of which was entitled Erections at an Animal Autopsy. However, the band also publicly spoke out against racism and discrimination, so they’re a-okay with us.
Ahh, Krysta Cameron… how we miss you. As one of the leaders of 2000s mathcore, iwrestledabearonce did more than just dabble with goofiness, they turned it into high art with cuts such as “You Know That Ain’t Them Dogs’ Real Voices” and “Tastes Like Kevin Bacon.”
We’re very happy to include some women in this list, and not just in the form of album art. Comprised of two women and three men, Brooklyn’s Couch Slut take a co-ed approach to silliness while churning out vicious metallic hardcore and noise. Totally worth bringing home to your parents.
The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza
Speaking of the silly mathcore movement, here’s the Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza. This band went four albums deep before ultimately splitting in 2012, and damn were they fun. Like iwabo, we can thank the backwater south for this band.
Vaginal Penetration of an Amelus With a Musty Carrot
VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxCx are Austria’s finest pornogrinders, and 12 years after forming, they’re still around! The band’s singer, Franz Stockreiter (named after a serial killer), even auditioned for one of those ‘Idol’ shows. Sadly, he didn’t make it to the big stage.
Preschool Tea Party Massacre
Only New Jersey could produce something this horrific. Preschool Tea Party Massacre created disturbing cybergrind mixed with awful dance beats, hip-hop, horror soundscapes and more. If you’re into offensive bizarre nonsense, though, it’s the soundtrack for a great time.
We Butter the Bread With Butter
Terrible band name, but good music! German deathcore merchants We Butter the Bread With Butter jumped the shark with naming themselves, but they’re also extremely successful and consistently so. Sliced bread never saw this glorious mess coming.
Damn Serbian djenters… Destiny Potato essentially morphed into Sordid Pink, but we’ll never forget the prestige of that original band name. As for their style, Destiny Potato mixed angelic pop with djent and metalcore — and not poorly either.