There are dudes out there that have trouble getting action. I get that. So sometimes said dudes may choose to make their own action with an apple pie, the undesirable girl down the street, or maybe a pizza. It happens, but when it happens you should probably keep it to yourself... Even if something bad happens to you in the process. 

Basically what I am getting at, is that if you choose to make love to a pizza and said pizza scorches your private parts, go to the store and get some burn medicine and keep your mouth shut. Some people aren't aware that if they decide to complain to the pizza chain where the poor humped pizza came from on Twitter, that everyone in the world will know that you are a pizza-humper!

But wait, the story keeps getting better! Not only did this dumbass rat himself out for this incident, but the pizza place basically took the blame, and apologized for the whole world to also see...

Now the next time you order a pizza and the message: "Please do not stick your private parts in or on our pizza, as it may be hot and burn you." appears on the box, you can thank this genius!