The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
This Video Pretty Much Sums Up Every Customer Service Experience Ever
I don't even bother calling customer service anymore. If I've got an issue with something, I just rub on some magic voodoo dolls I bought at a Walgreens and hope the issue resolves itself as quickly as possible.
This gentleman in the video still believes customer service can be of some help...
It’s Time For ‘March Sadness’ — The Bracket of Everything that Makes a Guy Sad
March Madness brackets and the crowning of an NCAA champion in men's basketball is important to a select few people. The crowning of the saddest thing that can happen to a man is much more vital to the our readers. We're just assuming. We're just kind of sick of talking about basketball. We're burned out and the tourney isn't even a day old.
It’s Fred Rogers’ Birthday So Let’s Celebrate With Some Classic ‘Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood’ Clips
At one point in time, everybody knew Mr. Rogers. It was almost impossible to turn on the television and not catch Fred throwing on his signature cardigan or Bobo shoes and teaching people about the way bread is made or why dogs are constantly sticking their noses up one another's anus...
It’s Hard to Write a ‘Dear Jane’ Letter When Your Hand is Shaking in Fear [Half a Man]
Polly was crazy. I wasn’t positive of this until my father, never one to mince words or use words to speak unkindly about another person, called to say, “Son, I think Polly is crazy.”
Let’s Celebrate 50 Years of Bret Michaels With Some Embarrassingly Awesome Photos
Bret Michaels, the former leader of Poison, winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice' and driving force behind all those awesome seasons of 'Rock of Love' turns 50 years old today.
Sign the Petition to Make May 20th ‘National Macho Man Randy Savage Day’
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!" - Macho Man Randy Savage
Everyday, in the United States, we celebrate a national "something" day. There is a National Pancake Day because we're all fat. There is National Donut Day because...wait explained that. It's absurd. It's time for a holiday that celebrates one of our national treasures -- Randy 'Macho
A Review of Taco Bell’s Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos
Taco Bell has been an integral block of my food pyramid for almost two decades. Here is where things get a little odd though -- rarely do I stray from the regular. In the beginning the order was always the same -- three Soft Taco Supremes and three regular crunchy tacos -- with an occasional Grilled Stuft Burrito with beef. Boring but always delivered.
Sofia Vergara’s ‘Machete Kills 2′ Poster Proves Her Breasts are Indeed Lethal Weapons
Sofia Vergara is in 'Machete Kills', the sequel to the successful Robert Rodriguez flick staring Danny Trejo and a whole lot of blood. In the sneak peek posters, Vergara lets the world know her breasts have a featured role in the film. Check out the cannons attached to those cannons...
McDonald’s Getting Rid of Popular Menu Items — Is Your Favorite Getting the Golden Axe?
McDonald's is shaking up its menu. Except, instead of adding a hundred new items as usual, the Golden Arches is giving the golden axe to some crowd favorites.
Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme are ‘Fat Man Little Boy’ [INTERVIEW]
Broken Lizard have performed together for over twenty years. First in college, at Colgate University, then in successful feature films like ‘Super Troopers’, ‘BeerFest’ and ‘Club Dread’ and on a massive comedy tour.