5 Experiences In Grand Junction Shorter Than a Ronda Rousey Fight
Ronda Rousey is a fighting machine. She wins and she wins fast. It took her a grand total of 34 seconds to do away with Bethe Correia this weekend. This inspired us to find five experiences in Grand Junction that can be completed in 34 seconds or less.
5. Going from 4th to 6th Street on North Avenue
Going from 4th to 6th Street on North Avenue in less than 34 seconds is only possible if you have no one in front of you. Don't try this during the noon hour or after 5 p.m.
4. Explaining to your wife why you're two hours late getting home from work
You can accomplish this faster than a Rousey fight only if you have a written affidavit signed by four people who aren't your friends. Otherwise, 34 seconds will not be enough.
3. Finding a parking place at Mesa Mall
If you're going to get a parking place faster than 34 seconds, prepare to irritate at least a half a dozen people as you ignore all known traffic signs getting that open spot right in front of Target.
2. Count the number of air marshals on your flight while you land at Grand Junction Regional Airport.
Thirty-four seconds isn't a lot of time to get this done, but you can expedite the process if you start making references to the pain being caused in your shoe by the box cutter.
1. Explaining to your wife why you just spent $45 to the cable company to watch a woman kick the crap out of another woman for just 34 seconds
Good luck with getting that one done in 34 seconds. We're not sure this can be accomplished in 34 years.