I bet the sexy beast in the wife beater shown above knows the proper way.  Personally, I'm not entirely sure myself, but I am confident I know how NOT to do it. The good news is swamp coolers have four sides, with one of the facing the back of the house where no one can see the catastrophic mess I created. Take this opportunity to learn from the pros.

Unfortunately, this dude in the video thinks I'm a complete boob and believes he needs to tell me how to climb the ladder. No doubt he means well. Study this example of how to close down your swamp for the season, demonstrated by the pros.

When it comes to putting the cover on my swamp cooler, I've invented my very own knot technique: The Jordan Knot. Basically, you tie a knot to anything fastened down. However, believe it or not, there is a better way.