Not only do we have to keep Bieber and can only get bronze at best because team USA lost their semifinal hockey match in the Olympics to Canada today, but the players on the team also lost out on a whole bunch of free porn! 

The porn site Brazzers had promised each player on the squad a month-long membership to the hardcore site if they beat Canada today. Oh, and if they'd of won the gold-medal game, they would have gotten a full 10-year pass!

Remember now though before you feel too bad for the red, white, and blue, that every single player on the team also plays in the NHL. I know they don't make NFL money, but I promise you that if they really need to look at anyone other than their hot wives, that they can probably comfortably afford a porn membership. And if not, there is a bunch of free stuff out there too (just watch out for std's of the computer, AKA, viruses).