The most pleasuring month of the year is May, why you ask? It just happens to be National Masturbation Month! Get your keyboard protector ready, and celebrate!
Monday in South Carolina the day started as usual at a local staffing agency. Coffee was made, donuts where eaten and the doors opened on time. People looking for work came in to fill out applications and check the Internet for possible jobs, until 53 year old Willie Merriweather showed up. That is when things got strange.
Across the bayou, it is not difficult to find a crossbreed of stark-raving mad drunkards and dive bar sideshows aggressively humping the legs off civil society. Unfortunately, when there is nothing civilized left for these gutter fiends to devour besides the skin in between their teeth, the only hope for the rest of us is that soon the flood waters will rise again and bury these beasts at sea.
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As any guy knows, the need for, um, release can sometimes be powerful and all-consuming. But there are probably better times to choke the chicken than in the aftermath of a bank robbery. Just sayin'.
A female patron of a Starbucks in Florida was arrested on drug charges Thursday after staff members notified police that she had been masturbating in the lobby of the coffee shop chain.
When I stopped masturbating for a while I had more energy, my weightlifting strength improved and some stubborn depression went away. Is this all just a coincidence?
Rappers have a special way of sharing sound advice and wisdom via Twitter. Take Kanye West's feed, for example, who taught us multiple lessons in manhood like how we should never settle for the cheese tortellini or the necessity of perfecting the Haiku.