How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One Hundred. It takes one guitar player to actually screw in the light bulb, and 99 to stand there and say "I could have done that better."

Guitarists are frequently the recipient of jokes, most of which are one liners, because that is about all they can understand. Get ready for a very busy musical weekend with our brief presentation of guitar player jokes.

How do you know when the stage is level? The guitarist is drooling evenly from both sides of his mouth.

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

Two guys were walking down the street. One was destitute, the other was a guitar player as well.

What do you call a guitar player without a lawn mower? Unemployed.

What do you call a guitarist in a three-piece suit? "Will the Defendant please rise."

How do you make a guitar player's car more aerodynamic? Take the Domino's Pizza delivery sign off the roof.

What's the difference between an acoustic guitar and a coffin? With a coffin, the dead person is inside the wooden box.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage? The bag of garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common? You know both are coming, and there's nothing you can do about it.

What did the lead guitarist do on his IQ test? Drooled on it.

What is the definition of an "optimist?" A guitar player with a business card.

and lastly.....

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? Eventually, the savings bond will mature and start to earn money.