Full-time professional golfer (and part-time big fat baby) Tom Lewis threw a tantrum over the weekend, and it nearly cost him his two favorite balls.

For some reason, Lewis got so mad Saturday during the third round of the 2015 True Thailand Classic at Black Mountain Golf Club in Hua Hin, Thailand, that he attacked the ground with his club.

The fairway parried the blow, shattering his weapon in his hand, and sending the business end of the club rocketing between his legs like a d**k-seeking missile.

Luckily for Lewis, the club missed his, umm, three wood by mere inches.

It begs the question: Had the club hit his Calloways, would it have counted as a stroke?

Much like Lewis' ball bag, these golf jokes are just low-hanging fruit.