5 Things I Love About The Oakland Raiders
I am a lifelong Denver Broncos fan. Every atom in my being despises the Oakland Raiders. But, my life counselor has told me that I should be more positive - even when it comes to the Oakland Raiders. So, here goes my best effort to find things I like about the Oakland Raiders. Prepare for mammoth amounts of sarcasm.
5. The Oakland Raiders have lost to the Denver Broncos 7 times in a row.
I love it when the Raiders consistently lose to the Broncos. The fact that they have collapsed before our Bronco greatness the last 7 times we have played them is a good thing.
4. The Oakland Raiders cheerleaders are women
Female cheerleaders are better than male cheerleaders. This is a scientifically proven fact and even if it isn't, it feels like it is. So, Raiders, I'll give you this one. Your cheerleaders supposedly are women. Congrats.
3. You are keeping the skull mask industry alive all by yourselves.
Lots of families that depend on their job at the factory making skull masks would be unemployed if not for Oakland Raiders fans. Consider this your lone good deed today. A child of a skull factory worker has food to eat today because of you.
2. You have the most accurately named fans in the history of sports
When I think of black holes, I think of Oakland Raiders fans. Thank you for stating the obvious.
1. No one cries better than Oakland Raider fans
Another Peyton Manning touchdown over your rookie cornerback? Here, let me get a tissue. Someone started the rumor that your team is moving to Tijuana? Don't hold back, let it out. No fans in football cry better than Raider fans. And, considering what the Bronco defense will do to your team on Sunday, you better go to Sam's Club and buy a crate full of Kleenex cause you're gonna need them.