Life has mysteries we will never understand. I accept that I can't know everything. However, there are five things that I really need to have cleared up. If you have the answers, please feel free to enlighten me.

5. Why do Hot Pockets have to be in a paper sleeves when you microwave them? Will they explode in a mushroom cloud nightmare of cheese if not for their paper straight jacket?

4. Oakland Raiders fans. I have yet to understand how there is any possibility that one of these exist.

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3. How is anyone expected to slow down to 35 mph for Exit 37 going into Clifton after going 75 mph two seconds before? Surely, someone in Colorado Mesa University's Physics department can explain how car inertia works at that angle.

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2. There have been three Sharknado movies but we can't get a sequel to The Shawshank Redemption?

1. Seriously, how are there Oakland Raiders fans?

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